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Why Most Networking Training is Complete Rubbish (And How to Actually Build Connections That Matter)
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After 18 years in corporate consulting and watching countless professionals butcher their networking opportunities, I'm convinced that 87% of networking training courses are teaching people to be human business cards. And frankly, it's painful to watch.
The worst part? These courses are creating armies of awkward professionals who think networking means collecting LinkedIn connections like Pokemon cards.
The Problem with Traditional Networking Training
Most networking training starts with the wrong premise entirely. They teach you "elevator pitches" and "30-second introductions" as if human connections operate like vending machines. Put in your rehearsed spiel, get out a business opportunity.
That's not how relationships work. That's how you become the person everyone avoids at industry events.
I learnt this the hard way back in 2009 when I attended a networking seminar in Brisbane. The facilitator – let's call him Derek – had us practice introducing ourselves in 30-second chunks. Derek loved his stopwatch. We had to include our name, company, value proposition, and a "hook" question.
Robotic. Terrible. I sounded like a LinkedIn profile having a seizure.
The real kicker? Derek was teaching us to be salespeople at networking events, not humans. He'd obviously never built a genuine business relationship in his life, but there he was, charging $350 per person to teach "authentic networking skills."
What Actually Works in Professional Networking
Here's what they don't teach you in most networking courses: The best networkers are genuinely curious about other people.
Not curious about what other people can do for them. Just curious. Period.
I've watched executives from companies like Atlassian work rooms at conferences, and they're not pitching anyone. They're asking questions. Real questions. "What's the biggest challenge you're facing this quarter?" "How did you get into that field?" "What trends are you seeing that others might miss?"
The magic happens when you stop trying to be interesting and start being interested.
Small Talk is Actually Big Business
Another thing most networking training gets wrong: they dismiss small talk as pointless filler conversation.
Wrong again.
Small talk is relationship lubrication. It's how two strangers establish basic compatibility before diving into professional topics. Someone who can't handle five minutes of small talk about the weather or the venue probably isn't someone you want to do business with anyway.
I've seen million-dollar partnerships start with conversations about weekend plans. The ability to connect on human-level topics before business topics is a superpower in professional settings.
But here's where it gets tricky – forced small talk is worse than no small talk. You need to actually care about the answers to your questions.
The Geography Factor Most Training Ignores
Australian networking has particular nuances that generic training programs miss completely. We're more casual than Americans, less formal than Europeans, and we have this cultural thing about tall poppy syndrome that makes aggressive self-promotion backfire spectacularly.
In Melbourne networking events, coming across as too polished or rehearsed marks you as either American (nothing wrong with that, but different cultural expectations) or trying too hard. Sydney's a bit more accepting of the slick approach, but even there, authenticity trumps preparation.
Perth and Adelaide networking scenes are smaller and more relationship-dependent. Everyone knows everyone eventually, so your reputation follows you. Brisbane falls somewhere in the middle – professional but not stuffy.
The point? Your networking approach needs to match your market. Cookie-cutter training programs don't account for these regional differences.
Digital Networking vs Face-to-Face: Both Matter
COVID changed networking permanently, and most training programs are still catching up. The new reality is hybrid networking – online relationship building that leads to offline meetings, or offline connections that continue online.
LinkedIn is now a legitimate networking platform, not just a job-hunting tool. But LinkedIn networking has different rules than in-person networking. Online, your content does the heavy lifting. Your posts, comments, and articles become conversation starters before you ever meet someone.
Managing difficult conversations becomes crucial when networking discussions get challenging, whether that's online or face-to-face.
Face-to-face networking is still more powerful for building deep relationships, but online networking is better for maintaining them. Smart professionals use both.
The Follow-Up Nobody Teaches
Here's where most people completely blow their networking efforts: follow-up.
Collecting business cards or LinkedIn connections without following up is like buying a gym membership and never going. Useless.
But the follow-up most people attempt is also terrible. They send generic "nice to meet you" messages or immediately try to sell something.
The best follow-up I ever received was from a marketing director I met at a conference in Adelaide. She sent me a link to an article that related to something we'd discussed, with a note saying "This reminded me of your point about client retention. Thought you might find it interesting."
No sales pitch. No meeting request. Just value.
That simple gesture led to a three-year business relationship worth significant revenue for both our companies.
Internal Networking Gets Ignored
Most networking training focuses on external relationship building – connecting with people outside your organisation. But internal networking might be more important for career advancement.
Building relationships with colleagues in other departments, understanding how different parts of your organisation work, and becoming known as someone who helps solve problems across teams. That's career gold.
I've seen more promotions happen because of strong internal networks than external ones. Your boss's boss needs to know who you are. The finance team needs to see you as helpful rather than demanding. HR needs to view you as solution-oriented.
Yet most professionals spend all their networking energy on external events and ignore the relationships right under their nose.
The Authenticity Trap
Here's where I might lose some readers: the advice to "just be yourself" in networking situations is often counterproductive.
Your authentic self might be introverted, tired, stressed about deadlines, or dealing with personal issues. That version of yourself isn't ideal for networking events.
The goal isn't to be fake – it's to be your best professional self. That's a subtle but crucial difference.
Your best professional self is still authentic, but it's authentic in the same way that wearing a suit to a formal event is authentic. You're adapting to the context while remaining true to your core values and personality.
Professional networking requires emotional intelligence for managers level skills, even if you're not managing anyone yet.
Quality vs Quantity: The Numbers Game Myth
Traditional networking training often emphasises meeting as many people as possible at events. Collect 50 business cards! Connect with 100 people on LinkedIn!
This approach optimises for the wrong metrics.
I know successful professionals who have networks of 50 high-quality relationships, and I know struggling professionals with 5,000 LinkedIn connections.
The goal isn't to know everyone – it's to know the right people well enough that they think of you when opportunities arise.
Five genuine professional relationships are worth more than 500 superficial ones.
When Networking Goes Wrong
Sometimes networking attempts backfire spectacularly, and most training programs don't prepare you for damage control.
What do you do when you accidentally pitch to a competitor? How do you recover from a cultural misunderstanding? What happens when someone you networked with turns out to be problematic for your industry reputation?
These situations require diplomatic skills that go beyond standard networking advice. Sometimes the best networking move is knowing when to gracefully exit a conversation or politely decline a connection request.
The Future of Professional Networking
Networking is evolving rapidly. Video calls, virtual events, and digital-first relationships are becoming normal. But the fundamental principles remain the same: genuine interest in others, providing value before asking for value, and building relationships rather than collecting contacts.
What's changing is the channels and the speed. Digital networking allows for faster initial connections but still requires time to develop into meaningful professional relationships.
Smart professionals are adapting their networking strategies to include both digital and traditional approaches, understanding that different relationships might develop through different channels.
The professionals who thrive in this new networking landscape will be those who master relationship building across all platforms while maintaining authentic human connection as the foundation.
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